Monday, 15 June 2009

Occasionally it is necessary to address a problem that does not exist. If it ain't broke don't fix it is not a True Toiredike concept and one that sits comfortably only with the alien ways of the Goyim that you fix only that which requires fixing. We in Toire true fashion fix everything, and if it ain't broke we give it a hechsher and raise the prices. Or of it ain't broke and is kosher we remove the hechsher like Frohwein sausages and at a stroke there are only vile sausages tasting like a cross between a rat and the animal a streimel comes from.

But that's that. Now we are talking about the far more important non-existent problem of parents not contributing sufficiently towards their children's school fees. Non-existent because according to buffoon yitzchok to suggest otherwise is an 'alien mentality which has no basis in reality or in Torah-based hashkofoh'. So there you have it from the ferd's mouth, whatever the facts you must deny them if they are contrary to hashkofoh. With buffoons like ours who needs the wise?

So to comply and nail our colours to a Torah-true mast let's fix this one firmly to its bent down. In Stamford Hill the general enthusiasm to pay school fees is such that schools don't have fees collectors or people who call at all hours on the phone and in person to collect the fees. And heaven forbid any of them should be working on commission. I mean commission for what? For something that people queue round the block to pay 3 weeks before beginning of term? And of the writer who suggested otherwise he well deserved being taken so wittily to task by the buffoon. What did he expect? A few kind words reminding him that Mars bars are treif no matter how hard the NW shkotzim will try and suggest otherwise? Then that guy has the chutzpah to suggest that some people prefer LUXURY to paying for their offsprings' Torah-true education. We don't have LUXURY food, buffoon, we have food with Kedassia hechsher.

Walk into any food shop and people survive on nothing more than natural yogurts, lousy salami and vanilla ice cream. A doughnut is something the wealthier amongst us taste on Chanukah. Otherwise, every spare penny goes straight to the school. And we're not talking here fees of £30 a week. Who do you think we are? Some school of the type frequented by our ruchniesdike impoversihed bretheren off the North Circular where kids have TVs but no shas? Nah, not us. Let them eat falafel and teach their kids how to marry shikses and we'll continue paying our fees. £20,000 a term schools for each of our 11+ kinderlach keneinehore without a penny of subsidy from HSA, thank you very much. And then to think that some people should have the self hatred to suggest that those school fees aren't paid up front. Let's make it clear: we pay 50 percent when the waters break and the balance at the circumcision 8 days later, unless the baby was held up by the marvellous labour support group in which case payment may be a couple of days later.

So let me give you my trademark truth. So pure and unadulterated that you only have to look at it and it may turn into a lie. Truth of the rarest and most delicate specimen. You know the new state-aided school, the one I have occasionally my reasons to criticise when the cops' chaplain usurps me in the press, well even there parents are falling over themselves to part with their cash. And they never finish paying. The girls leave school and 1 years later they're back as teachers subsidising the school on their martyrdom wages and 1 year after that they're back again introducing their betrothed ('beloved' is still about 5 weeks away, assuming it ever arrives) to the delights of the school dinner hall and again it's a cheque but this time a double one. And yet it's an all singing and dancing event.

So, down with the hefkeirus of the youth and the anonymity of poison pens. I have always announced to the world my true identity because I believe in what I have not got to say and say what I do not believe secure in the knowledge that if you believe it why repeat it?

Friday, 12 June 2009

Lamp of Luminance

'Rabbi of his people, leader of his nation, lamp of luminance, blessed be your arrival for peace' Unless you passed Egerton Road this week and have a smattering of Aramaic and more than that of English you may not be aware of the arrival of the Lamp of Bobov in our midst. And by the time you read this the Lamp will have travelled to radiate its luminance elsewhere so you will have missed out.

The reason I bring this to your attention is because I always wonder why is it that we are happy to put into Hebrew , Aramaic or even Yiddish words we would never say in English. Sometimes, like the Yiddish section of the JT, it's because they put into Hebrew characters anything they wish to keep out of sight of the goyim or, worse, the JC. But there's nothing harmful about describing a 50/60 something as a lamp yet the most his followers would ever say about him in English is 'Grand Rabbi'. So why this reticence?

I have a couple of theories.
1. They know it's a load of rubbish and are embarrased of others who lack their fervour reading it. As for Hebrew speakers they're all used to it and those who disapprove can be dismissed as heretics or opponents. Anyway most of them use even more extravagent epithets for their own Grands so simply to keep up with the halberstams and teitelbaums you need to lay on the lamps.

2. The embarrasment is of themselves. English being a language used for logical discourse will cause the silly titles to jar in their own brains. By contrast, since Hebrew is used for prayer of which half of it in anyway not understood, and even that which is understood is mumbled through automatonlike at a speed far exceeding light, nonsense can be spouted out as no one gives it a second thought assuming they had a first one. It allows the propagandists to use ancient, anachronistic mumbo jumbo without as much as a shokel as the message is not in the meaning but simply being there in a size 72 font multiplied by the number of bulbs illuminating it. It evokes sights and mental sounds of a golden age and of musty books to which they wish to nail their rabbi's shtreimel. And as far as that goes it does a fairly good job.

Thursday, 4 June 2009

Why I voted

Because I value the fact that however high and mighty the leaders may be and however much they corrupt their position they still must come back to us for our vote every few years. Cynics may snigger and sophisticates may scoff but if it were all one big con why do countries like China not join in the fraud and hold elections? Why did Russia rig its elections despite that the governing party could have won in a fair vote? Because a fair election is in itself is a challenge for those who cannot bear being reminded that they are appointed by the people and can be removed by the people. I voted to remind myself and those in power who put them there and who can removed them.

Because as the son of a father born in the shadow of revolution and who suffered greatly at the hand of the Nazis I feel it a duty to support the democratic process. At times when the BNP is on the ascendancy the task is all the more urgent.

Because by participating in an activity that the whole country is engaged in I feel part of the country, part of the democratic process that governs this country and part of the excitement that is politics. I am excluded, part by choice and part by the company I keep, from the main activities that glue this country together. I don't generally follow sports and have never attended a major sporting event, I don't own a TV and am not animated by Big Brother or The Apprentice and other programs that has the nation glued to its seats (though I was a tad moved by Susan Boyle's first, and only first, appearance), I rarely visit a pub and when I do it is miles away from home where I know none of the locals, I don't place a wreath anywhere on Remembrance Day, I don't put up holly in my windows before Christmas and I don't even visit Ikea on a bank holiday (I prefer the quiet on a workday evening).

That doesn't mean that I don't feel part of this country. The problem however is that I have few outlets where I can participate and genuinely feel one with my countrymen and women openly and comfortably. I feel precluded from activities on the above list, which is by no means exhaustive, because they are alien to my upbringing and culture as well as because they are avoided by fellow orthodox coreligionists. If there are cultural activities I enjoy I do them covertly due to fear of censure by the locals but in any event seeing a play or watching a film doesn't give you a sense of belonging you get by discussing what is on every TV in the land.

So I follow politics and I vote. It's kosher. It's exciting. It's driven by ideas. And it gives me a sense of belonging and an affinity and connection to the man on the street, to the reports on the radio and in the press (no TV, remember) and to the way this country is governed.

And finally because I look at what is done in the name of religion to politics in Israel where the Rabbis who care not one tshulent bean for democracy and would abolish it overnight if we were so unfortunate to witness the Messiah they pray 3 times a day for, yet they exploit it and corrupt it to the core when it suits their avarice and greed. Every one of them makes our MPs and the moats and duck ponds look like saints compared to their corruption and there is no chance in the world of them ever being caught.

So I grab my polling card, lift my eyes to heaven and thank Him above than, unlike His faithful in the Holy Land, none of His servants on this sceptered isle dictate how and for whom to vote and on this day, the anniversary of the massacres in Tiananmen Square, I am able to express my view on who I want to represent our country in the EU parliament.

Long Live Freedom and Democracy!