If You Tickle Us...

Shock. Horror. Disgust. Dismay. These are just some of the sentiments expressed by our Dear Leaders among the panoply of emotions generated by the news that elections are to be held in Stamford Hill. Not in our, or their, wildest fantasies did they, or we, imagine that there exists a power to compel anyone in the holy square mile to hold elections. We have been brought up that power is theirs by right, and just occasionally, when a contingency arises, by might, and now we are led to question our most basic and fundamental assumptions. How are we to contend with this, is the question on all lips. Admittedly, local and national elections are held at polling booths within shockling distance of our great institutions, and these are passed by the Rabbonim as permissible so long, of course, that votes are cast in favour of the right candidates. But as with all non-Torah-true influences great care is taken to ensure that alien concepts such as democracy, accountability and transparency do

Little is known of the benevolence of Her Majesty's Government in our circles once Housing Benefit is taken out of the equation. Malchus shel chesed is a nice catchword for those who want us to repose our trust in them as the sole channel to the authorities who must be kept on side lest they herd us all on cattle wagons for transportation to the other side of the river lea. But in our day to day lives any beneficence of the authorities is wiped out by parking tickets, bailiffs and the nazis in the planning department. You could perhaps include the NHS though one could argue how benevolent it is to have to wait in a queue in the early morning cold to get an appointment with a doctor everyone knows to be a shlimazel. As to free education, as far as most Stamford Hillers are concerned it's like western civilisation to Ghandi: not a bad idea. But Yesodey HaTorah was supposed to change all of that. Parents who've been dodging the school-fees collector all their child-rearing

Here is the official invitation to come and take part in the 'debate' of the candidates who have deigned to talk to us. Questions submitted in advance to the address on the flyer ; questions you want answered, don't bother. The rabonim and the askonim will ensure they don't get asked.

Can someone shed some light on what's going on at the Skinners School site in Stamford Hill? Here is the Hackney Gazette story . Although you can safely ignore our own media which are there for the sole purpose of steering us in the direction they see fit to take us and then persuading the world that we are loyally following, I was nonetheless intrigued by one line in the Hamodia, that Beis Chinuch had originally agreed to move but then had a change of heart. So what happened ? Is this another case of some mad, if not greedy, askan who thought he (never a she unless it is Ita Symons) had Berkeley Homes over a barrel and was told to go jump in a mikveh? If Beis Chinuch was supposed to get the site why are Belz and Lubavitch up in arms? Where is Rav Feldman, or has he been banished due to his 'ignorance' of a convicted sex abuser's crimes ? If Satmar was also to get part of the site, where is their voice? What caused 'Rabbi' Pinter to rear his hairy head? Are ther