Wednesday, 28 May 2014

Constant own goals

Vaad Lemaan Tohar Hamachaneh letter Iyar 5774

The above was sent to me with the following text:

The matchless Vaad Lemaan Intimidation of the Machane has come close to scoring a spectacular own goal by shielding an apparently known abuser. Local moisdos (and possibly others) recently received the attached letter.

Phoning the mobile number given during the designated times goes straight to a pre-recorded message saying only that the person concerned is "Mrs [X]" (that narrows it down, then - presumably it might possibly be the choshuva rebbetzin) and saying that if you want more help, to call 020 xxxx xxxx. Calling that number gets you another voicemail message asking you to leave a message. Having done so, you then eventually get a call back in person from one of the stalwarts of the heilige Va'ad, who "having taken legal advice" explains that, leider, they can't give out her first name. But she is an [X] [X] who has been "abusing against boys", but it seems she's AC/DC and is choshud for girls as well.

Shame, otherwise it wouldn't be so bad and she could be given a safe job in one of our chadorim and the whole thing could be kept quiet. And she has teenage children of her own. And she lives on [X] Road (we could be getting close to identifiable details here...).

And the goyim are sort of aware of her but not really, and it would be worse for her if she was properly reported to them for what she is thought or known to have done or planned to do, so the Vaad is keeping everyone safe in this much preferable way. Everyone, that is, unless you happen to be a goy. Or a modern-orthodox Yid (I use the term Yid loosely of course). Etc.


Someone should advise the said woman to undergo a gender reassignment and she’ll be perfectly safe. She might even be asked to fill the empty plinth on the rabbinate.


stamford hiller said...

Bit of a problem here. Besides you and me who else in Stamford Hill knows what AC/DC is.
The few that have heard of it think it is something to do with electricity.
Also, if it's a Mrs. who is the Mr. (or more likely, Rabbi)?

extension lead said...

We all know what DC is..

Anonymous said...

Looks like only lesbians are cause for concer by the holy camp for purity.
What about all the molestors roaming the shuls and chadorim and mikvos.
What a joke!

Volvi said...

I wonder what they have against THIS particular woman! Why is SHE the ONLY threat to our local children?

Why don't we see such a letter being circulated to the local shuls regarding the known monster serial molestor, Mr [X]?
The rabbinate are well aware of his lovely activities. Strangely, he and his friends in crime are not considered a threat or danger. Can some one speak up and explain?

Said woman, [...] and yes, she is dangerous, but no more dangerous than the heimishe rapists who have been committing their heinous atrocities on our young and vulnerable members of the kehilla.

typical stamford hill yid said...

What's a lesbian?

Martin Luther King said...

The problem is not the Rabbonim the problem is simply the people who choose to to be lead like blind donkeys! Its easier to go running to a "Rabbi" and ask rather than working things out by yourself. In essence you all have your selves to blame De Aibishter gave you a brain to use WAKE UP EVERYONE and use this wonderful amazing gift de Aibishter gave you Start thinking for yourselves and only then will things change... I still have a dream that one day Yidden will just keep Torah and Mitzvahs I HAVE A DREAM

פי האסון said...

Who are you calling a blind donkey? As we will read in 10 days, it is not the donkey who is blind, it is his master.

Bilam had all the trappings of a union dayan. When messengers of a lowly status come to escort him, he tells them that he cannot travel economy, not even business. He must have first class.

But first, stay the night, I must daven now.

As do all tzadikkim of his ilk, Bilam was up and rearing to go, well before netz.

Like a true dayan, he takes shortcuts driving the wrong way up a one way street. He mounts the pavement and scrapes the side of his car against a wall. Writes the car off and dumps it for others to deal with.

When he gets to his hosts palace, after first pocketing the pidyon, there is a lechayim tish or 7. His host requests for a brocho that all his enemies should meet an untimely end. He mumbles and the Eybeshter zol helfen.

The host, having spent his life pillaging and plundering, is not happy with this brocho.

Eventually, after 7 failed attempts, giving brochos and then retracting them again, the rov, I mean Bilam, gives up and says: I can only give you some advice. Set up a Vaad, to oversee the downfall of your enemy, led them establish ad hoc vigilante groups, encouraging them to find and punish individual enemies of yours. Very quickly, even their princes will join and become uberleutentantvaadmishmeresstrumfurer.

Anonymous said...

Has anyone seen R Roberts resignation letter

stamford hiller said...

"Historical" asifa. Focused meetings for shopkeepers etc.
Mr. Tickle, where are you?
Come back. Your people need you.