Sunday, 18 July 2010

Rabbis for the Internet!

In a rare show of solidarity seldom seen in this country or anywhere in the world rabbis of all persuasions, cults, creeds and colours (sorry black and white only) came out in unprecedented numbers to support the world wide web. Rabbis who have spent their life prohibiting the internet as the greatest threat to Judaism since the golden calf recanted in public and stood shoulder to shoulder and hat-brim to hat-brim to proclaim their belief in the dot coms and dot orgs of our age to redeem us of our orthographical errors.

As the arch pro web campaigner fondly known as Dyno Rod in a rare public recant proclaimed 'We the Rabbonim have always been surfing the web to ensure that you are protected from the filth we are forced to endure for your sake. However for spelling sake and to avoid the even greater dangers of our teachers having to take an NVQ we have accepted that we may have been mistaken in the past and hereby announce the world wide web open for all. Hurrah! Mazel Tov! Oyf Simkhes! Mertshem bay You! And while the yungeleit do their rebetzen's returns in T.K. Maxx we shall all retire for a coffee. Rabbis to Starbucks!'

And while we're at it despite the endorsement, nay exhortations, of the Rabbonim including the real, sans quotation marks, Rabbi Pinter to attend, the Buffoon and 'Rabbi' Pinter were nowhere to be seen. The Buffoon was of course busy refilling his fountain pen after his prolific letter-writing campaign on behalf of the Emmanuel racists and the Jaffa interned inviting them all to move to the fox-infested bog in Carterhatch Lane under his control. As for the revered, esteemed, capillary endowed 'Rabbi' Pinter, with not a politician or chief superintendent in sight we must agree that his time could be far more productively employed fraternising with the Buffoon at a 'meeting' of some sort rather than be seen with the 'nine-days' unwashed oi (vei) polloi and not a lens in focus.

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