If You Tickle Us...

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Chaim'keh Oy Chaim'keh

A trip down memory land with this little Chanukah song of unknown provenance. First published 10 years ago it has, due to recent events, still retained its relevance. It now almost needs Rashi with some of the references obscured by the passage of time, though the added stanza (in red) should bring it up to date. חיימ'קע אוי חיימ'קע א רעבעלע א שיינער א האריגע א בייכעלע נישט דא נאך אזיינער אלע נעכט מיט פייגעלעך שפילן מיר זיסע הייסע מיידעלעך טאפן מיר אן א שיעור געשווינדער, צינדט קינדער חיימ'קע'ס ליכטעלע אן דערציילט זיינע נסים גלייבט אין די שטותים און לאמיר ווארפען עפלעך אין קאן דערציילט זיינע נסים... דער קול קורא האט געשריגן אז חיים איז א נואף די רבנים האבן געשוויגן ווייל פרויען זענען טינוף דאס שטעטעלע פון לאנדאן האט ווידער אויפגעלעבט און צו א נייער בית דין האט יעדערער געשטרעבט געשווינדער, קוקט קינדער ווי חיים דער צדיק'ל פרעסט כאפט זיין שריים ראנגלט די יָדַיִם און שמייסט אים מיט האנטעכער פעסט כאפט זיין שריים... ר' חנה האט געשריגן מען וועט ברענען אין גיהנום דער שו...

UOHC Writes to Reb Tickle

For those increasingly concerned that Reb Tickle may gradually be joining the Arsekonim class we have some disappointing news: Reb Tickle is corresponding directly with that august body known as UOHC. The only thing I can say in my defence is that they started it by writing to me first and myself being deferential to authority and submissive to Daas Torah had no option but to reply, about 10 lines for each line of theirs. The missive was in response to Reb Tickle's recent droshe. The sender must I'm afraid remain without a name - no UOHC officer with the right hashkofeh would be seen here even in their finest Purim mask - and the cc list, which reads like an A-class shiduchim list, must also remain classified. But due to UOHC's deeply held conviction on the public's right to know permission for republication was graciously granted and hope is being expressed in certain quarters of awarding Reb Tickle in due course a serving of the recently stewed Keddasia alphabet soup....

The Sixth of Nissan

"44 years", they marvelled, just as they did last year and just as they will keep doing year after year with incremented numbers while measuring their own life by her death. But 44 years it is and still it feels like this. Still it hurts and still the ground is cold. This morning AL, now with a white beard, recalled how as a kid on his bike at the corner in Clapton Common he heard the news. BS namechecked her and wanted to know if it was only that one name. PF stroked his unfurled almost navel length beard, fresh and untangled after the mikveh, as he told of the photo he has of my mum with myself and my siblings. Forty four years. Others commented on the freshness of the croissant sandwiches while the shy boy stood quietly at the side eyeing the food but too timid to approach the adult table where death was being served up with Scotch. Less shy were the drinkers sipping Lechaim from sample-size cups. In some shuls they wish you a long life but here they're more conc...

Yesodey Hatorah Admissions Scam: Admission Numbers

If you're applying for a school place for your child you'd naturally want to know what you're applying for. But what do you do in the case of voluntary-aided Yesodey Hatorah Senior Girls School if the Hackney website says that "normal point of entry is Year 5" and yet you know it to be a blatant lie? And what do you do when the same lie is repeated on the school's website that Year 5 is the "normal point of entry to the school" when it clearly is not. A Freedom of Information reply from Hackney shows that there has NEVER existed a Year 5 and Year 6 at Yesodey Hatorah. And not only has there never been a Year 5 and 6 at the school but since 2019 there has been a total of ONE SINGLE application for those years. Which tells you that not only does Yesodey Hatorah know it to be a blatant lie but that no one in the entire community is fooled either. Before creating these fictional Years 5 and 6, YHS purported to hold a “consultation” in 201...

How to Commit Abuse and Go Scot-Free

Just a short intro to the analysis that follows of UOHC Dayan Paltiel Schwarcz's responsum concerning the reporting of child abusers to the authorities . The difficulty with arguments on points of Halacha is that it is an obscure discipline which relatively few master, even in the Charedi world. Halachists will, or should, be learnéd in their field of expertise and so are able to draw on sources known only to a relatively small number of scholars and will quote from texts which are rarely indexed and often written in an oblique style that is barely comprehensible to outsiders. In the context of mesirah for child abuse, which is the subject here, or agunot and other contemporary issues, what usually happens is that "progressives" (for want of a better term in this context) and those pleading for change will fall back on broader principles rather than challenge the Halachists at all on Halachic ground. They will refer to Chillul Hashem, the laws of the land, the mora...